Since when have I become a “last-minute” person? I guess the older I get, the more careless I become. I remember in high school years, I always finished everything weeks if not months ahead of time. Now, with all the deadlines lining up in the upcoming week, I have not finished a thing, some task I haven’t even started. I’m frustrated and feeling less efficient.

Am I having too high an expectation for self?

So during the past few weeks, I got invited to quite a number of social events. I’d jump in joining friends if it were me in the past. Right now, I deny and have no desire to go to play with anyone.  No motivations to mingle and play. I found peace in my little room, at the small coffee place and at the gym doing my own thing. Since when have I become so asocial?

I guess I’m stressed over a lot of things. But most of all about my career plan and the future. The feeling to want to establish and do well in everything I do. And the feeling to want to be safe and secure.  I have a circle of thoughts in my mind today as I was driving. I asked myself is fame and wealth what makes people secure?

Oh well….I guess I will just stop my post abruptly just like this.  As I thought about not going to a friend’s party tonight, she already called me twice.  Just now she asked me to bring a wine bottle opener.  Joanne has been a good friend. I guess I will just stop by briefly though I really have no heart to go.


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