Breaking down

Although there are other positive things I should be posting about, the birthday cupcakes, the plate full of delicious dumplings, the upcoming thanksgiving, my mind has inevitably settled on yet another episode of sadness. As much as I had tried, just when I thought I had put myself together, only then did I realize I still have not and could not move on.  On the way to the gym tonight, I couldn’t help but blame myself for picking up that call he happened to place by accident.  It was awkward to hear him calling himself differently.  I guess he already moved on and maybe that was how he called himself with ‘others’.  I missed him so much yet I couldn’t say a word. I couldn’t believe we were over…I just couldn’t. 😦  Even though I didn’t talk much and I told him that I was doing fine when he asked, I wish he cared enough to know that my heart had long been shattered.

I broke down on my way back as I drove. How I wish I could go home….

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